So, I’m not sure if I have sprained or broken my pinky toe, but the pain has been excruciating at times. It has turned a wonderful shade of dark purple, since I jammed it into a heavy chair Wednesday morning.
I limped to the gym that first morning, knowing it would be a circuit day, and I trusted that the trainer would help me modify at each station, so that I could still work out. I ended up doing a lot of upper body exercises, I was proud of myself for showing up (remembering that just by showing up, you are “lapping everyone who is still sitting on a sofa”) I was also willing to be honest and ask for help at each station. The trainer was so happy to help me and keep challenging me…quitting is no longer an option. Putting on those sneakers was so painful, and so was just walking. It’s amazing how much you need that little toe for!
Thursday morning, the pain was even worse. As I found myself starting to worry, feeling sorry for myself, and so frustrated… starting to worry about not being able to work out, how long would this injury affect me, will this slow down my weight loss, etc….I had to pray and just bring everything I knew to the situation. It’s time to hold onto everything I have learned and press through this. “Ok Wendy, Don’t tell me what you CAN’T do…tell me what you CAN DO! Pray for the strength, ask to find the motivation.”
With that, I remembered a picture I took of TV the other night while watching “Dancing with the Stars”. It was a picture of all of Amy’s prosthetics lined up along the mirror. I remember pausing the television, taking in that scene and just being left in awe. Here is a woman who has lost the bottom half of both of her legs, and she is competing on “Dancing with the Stars”. She is one of the most amazing dancers I have ever seen. As she approaches each day, each new routine, she is not wondering IF she can do it, she is wondering, “which of these legs/feet should I use to just dance my heart out and do my best!”
I brought up that picture on my phone and kept it fresh in my mind — to choose to move on. Thursday’s work out was spinning. I wasn’t sure if my spin shoes were going to go on my feet, or if I would be able to push on the pedals, but I was going to try, and if it didn’t work out, I was going to ask for help in finding what else I could do to sweat at the gym that morning.
I limped into the gym, explained to the trainer/instructor that I was going to just do my best, remembering that was what Carter told us at “Unleash the Champion”…you just have to bring YOUR absolute best to every workout, don’t look around and compare yourself to anyone else.
I set up the bike, winced in pain as I strapped my shoe on and clicked it into the pedals…then I took one stroke at a time. I closed my eyes, prayed for strength to get through and for the pain to lessen….and pushed through an hour class, which was a strength ride including 4 long, steep hills….I got myself to stand up and push, and just went along, holding onto every inspirational thought. I had my “Unleash the Champion” bracelet on which also has the words..”Start. Sweat. Finish”, so I thought of all the people I am still on this journey with, that I met there, along with those in my weekly Weight Watcher’s family, who continue to inspire me every single day…. I had my “Believe” bracelet on, and on my handlebars, I happened to have the towel from the Sports Bra Challenge, which I conquered over a year ago. I was surrounded with incredible “anchors”, reminders to inspire me to keep going.
When I need help to press on toward this weight loss finish line, I am inspired by the people who are in this weight loss journey with me. Their stories, words and lessons are in my head and memory…they are with me at every work out. I also hold onto every bit of wisdom and knowledge I have learned along the way.
When the ride was finished, I opened my eyes, and I looked down on the floor and saw the drippings of sweat, and I was proud of every drop. During the cool down, I just thanked God for the ability to get through the workout…for the memories, verses, sayings, stories all brought to mind during the ride that kept me going.
As Courtney Crozier has said many times in sharing her incredible weight loss journey, “it might take a while to change your body, but it only takes one split second to change your mind.” I woke up in pain, disbelief, discouragement, despair, bombarded with feelings of doubt and anxiety….and choice by choice, one at a time…chose to get to that gym, walk through those doors and continue to fight to get across my finish line.
At the end of that ride, yes, the pain was still there…but so was the sweat on the floor, and I was walking out of those gym doors believing again…feeling empowered, strong and really proud of getting through it. There is no better feeling than walking OUT the doors of a gym after a great workout.
I don’t know how long it will take for my toe to heal, but I will continue to search for what I can do in the meantime. I share the story of this day with you, because I saw this post on Facebook yesterday….
I didn’t give up today, because of the people who have inspired me. I have finally been successful in this journey due to the inspiration, time shared and help of so many friends, as well as strangers I’ve met along the way. Some may never know the impact their stories have had, and continue to have on my life. Amy will never know that I took a picture of all of her “feet” lined up in a dance studio on television, or how her courage and story will forever be a part of what I use, now as motivation to continue in my journey.
My greatest joy is passing on the stories and wisdom I have learned from others, as well as what I have learned along this weight loss journey, and this is one of the greatest reasons I share these stories…so that someone else will choose not to give up.
Share your stories and your struggles, ask for help, surround yourself with people who believe in you, even before you come to believe in yourself, have “anchors” all around you to bring you back to your reason “why” you are going to do this. Don’t give up, you CAN do this… One great choice at a time, bringing your best to each day, one day at a time.
PS…after hurting my toe on Wed, I continued to do all that I could do…. and on Saturday, I had a 3.6 pound weight loss for the week!