Thank you for your participation in the Dr. Oz Transformation Nation: Million Dollar You Contest. Sharecare considered all entries in accordance with the Official Rules. All participants selected for the next round of judging have been notified. If you have not been notified, you did not advance to the final round of the contest.
The Dr. Oz and Sharecare Team would like to congratulate you for making positive changes to improve your health and hope you continue your transformation.
Dr. Oz and Sharecare Team
As I was writing about the rest of the week in my journal, this email popped up from the Dr. Oz and sharecare team. I read it over about 3 times, broke out in a sweat and waited for my husband to get back from an errand. I didn’t even know how to take it in. When he walked in, I pointed at the screen, and then after he read it, I fell into his arms and he held me as I cried my eyes out. I just couldn’t believe that this challenge was over for me. It just didn’t, and doesn’t make sense. How could this entire miraculous journey end today, when the voting starts on Monday? I never imagined that I wouldn’t make it to the top 10, everything that the Lord has been doing has been increasing my faith that I would actually be the one standing next to Dr. Oz in the end.
I forwarded the email to my ww instructor, Elyse, and then also called the woman who interviewed me, and the publicist who spoke to me at the show. I left messages asking if it was truly over. I also sent a few emails to ask if It was really over for me. Part of me keeps thinking it has to be a mistake, it just doesn’t make sense.
I went upstairs on my bed to just cry and pray and try to make sense of all of this. I keep hoping that I am dreaming, but I’m not. After talking to Elyse for a bit on the phone, I cried for a bit more on while my husband just held me, and then he prayed over me, I threw on my sneakers and went for a long walk, with big dark sunglasses on, so that I could just have a really good cry and a long walk and talk with the Lord.
I walked and talked and prayed and cried all the way down to the town dock, then I sat on the dock, in the exact spot that Warren and I sat when I was around 18, and I was giving him a montage of pictures of us all framed for him to take to college, as we were about to be apart for a long time. Then the Lord had me remember all of that, all of the fears at that time, and here I am sitting there almost 30 years later, married to him…reminded that God works ALL things together for our good.
As I sat there for a long time pleading with him to show me the purpose of all of this, I kept singing that worship song, “He makes all things work together for our good”. The tears continued, and I had to just keep holding onto all that He has done in my life. The hardest part right now is trying to understand why it is all ending here with the challenge. Every miracle and every spectacular moment that has happened in this journey has all had me believing that I would definitely make it to where I would be asking everyone to vote and bring me through to the finish line. So many people have joined me in this journey, and I was so excited to continue to share it all with everyone, and just continue to glorify God and stand next to Dr. Oz proclaiming that God truly is all that He says He is and can do all that He says He can do.
So, as I walked and cried and cried and walked, I had to hold onto all of His promises, and I kept asking Him to give me the words and the reason that all of this is happening. I don’t know how to call and email and facebook everyone and just say, “it’s over.” Because, in my heart, I just don’t believe it is.
As I kept walking, it was impressed on my heart to go home now and write the hard stuff, write about this really tough afternoon that I am walking through. I don’t know how to do this right now, so I just keep asking for His words and His strength to get me through, and to help me stop crying (as I have to go to a big fundraising dinner for YFC tonight, and I don’t want to go with a red blotchy face).
As I came to the last part of the walk, I held onto 2 promises….He promises to work all thing together for my good, so I have to trust in that….and the other promise He brought to my mind is….” I will do ABUNDANTLY MORE than you can ever ask or imagine.” Wow. I know that I have prayed many times to win this challenge, and be the one standing next to Dr. Oz on 5/23/12, and as of today, that doesn’t seem like it is going to happen. Yes, I am crushed, and the tears keep coming, but there is something in my spirit that says, this is not over yet.
When my husband held me crying, he felt the same thing. Our feelings and emotions are crushed right now. Lots of tears, some anger, lots of confusion….but my faith in an awesome God does not change. I’m not sure what is ahead, but if I prayed to win Dr. Oz’s Transformation Nation Challenge….and God promises to do abundantly more than I could ever ask or imagine….then in faith, I have to wait and see what is ahead. Faith means having a confident expectation in God…..and so I’m praying for Him to equip me with that faith, and looking forward to see what He is going to do with all of this. Not easy…. even as I write this my face is blotchy, I have a headache from crying, but I also have that crazy peace that passes all understanding that He is working on something. And I can’t wait to be able to share it with everyone when it happens…
So, on the hardest day of this challenge, receiving this really tough email….please lift me up in your prayers…please pray for an increase in faith and for the Lord to reveal His plan to me. Thanks, Wendy
Saturday, May 5 2012- Going to WW to weigh in and share the news that I did not make the final 10….It’s a REALLY tough morning….
Last night I fell asleep in my husbands arms crying and just praying to make sense of all of this, wondering also, in my head…how am I going to make it through telling everyone at ww tomorrow? On one hand, I can’t wait to get there to see how I have done for the past 2 weeks, I also really miss everyone there, and I know that everyone there will help me through this tough time, and continue to be on this weight loss journey with me as we all battle it together. On the other hand, I keep picturing myself walking down that long hallway, trying to keep it all together as I share the news, but I know above all, the Lord hasn’t left me, and will walk down that hallway with me, and give me the words to get through it. Still trusting. Last night I read…Blessed in He who trusts in the Lord…still trusting.
I woke up this morning, although trusting, the tears keep rolling down my cheeks. Hopped in the shower to try to get rid of some of the blotchiness, put on make up (knowing it’s going to get messed up, but trying), and this morning checked the email hoping maybe it was a mistake and someone sent an update. Didn’t happen, but this was the email that came up from my mother in law, as she sends everyone a scripture every day….
Dear Precious Ones, “I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 Jesus has overcome the world, so lets trust Him and have that peace which is there for each of us who know our Lord and Lord and Savior. This is a decision to trust Him, knowing He doesn’t lie. Love to each of you, Mom/Nana/Gail
This was perfect timing for this morning….trying to hold onto peace, and taking heart knowing that He has overcome the world. And the big “aha” that I am holding onto all morning is that, “He doesn’t lie”. All that has happened up until this point, all of the God-incidences, all of the miracles that have happened are still all true.
Steven Curtis Chapman spoke at a women’s event shortly after his daughter had died and he shared with us, that at this darkest time in his life, he needed to hold onto every song he had written, every scripture he had read, every Bible story he had learned, everything that He knew about God……and He had to make a big decision…..Either it’s all true…or none of it is true……and He decided to choose that it’s all true…and that’s what I had to decide yesterday, in the midst of this crushing news for me….I have to hold onto the fact that His words and His promises are all true. He does not lie, that would go against his very character…and I just have to keep trusting. Sounds so easy….but it’s soooo hard to do right now, when every part of me just keeps saying, the fact that I didn’t make the final 10 just doesn’t make sense.
(In Esther, we learned about acrostics….something tells me that He is going to do this in this situation…???)
So, I’m heading to ww, holding onto his promises, and literally his hand as I make that walk down the hallway to the scale. To God be the Glory!
(Lost another 4.4 pounds this week….total now 63.4!)